Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
