i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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