one two three fourrrrnication!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
