Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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