oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
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100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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