any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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