If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
