I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
