I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
