I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
