They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
