We won't sleep together?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
