They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
we should paint friendship bongs
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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