just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
