thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize