I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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