I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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