Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
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you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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