I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sorry my hands just texted you
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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