Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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