Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
