i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
