no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
