If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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