it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
