On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
