How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
