her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
