is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
