I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
