Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
