Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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