I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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