is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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