worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
