Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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