If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
