More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
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