See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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