Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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