I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
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Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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