i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
