i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
