I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
