i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
