Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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