i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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