I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
God I need to hump something, right now.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
