Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
