his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
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I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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