pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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