He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
