Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize