i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
