i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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