So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
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Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children