does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's blow job season.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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