did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.