I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just found the deal breaker
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic