I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
