people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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