can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
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I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
This is classic penis vs brain.
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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