thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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