Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
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But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
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At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's