I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
People Share What It’s Really Like to Date Long Distance
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
These Little Things Make People Overly Angry
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.