your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
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This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO